Dear John Edwards . . .

Dear John,

You suck. I didn't want to believe it, but when you release your own "I'm a cheater" statement it's pretty much confirmed. How is it even possible that you could cheat on your seemingly amazing wife? Ugh. And now we get to watch you talk about the affair in an interview on ABC? Oh awesome. What's next? Are you gonna launch a handbag line and a fragrance too? Or pimp a book? You suck--you redefined politcal asshole--and I thought Cheney had the market covered. Ok--well he still wins, but you might as well be a Republican because you are making it so easy to hate you.

You may not have invented the internet (Thanks Al Gore) but you're savvy enough to know that in this day and age if you're a politician, celebrity, quasi-celebrity, athlete, Nikki Blonsky, overweight cat in Jersey, reality show whore, etc. your business is about to be public. Doesn't matter how discreet you think you are being (and a baby is not discreet), it's gonna come out. Oh right--the "timing" doesn't work out for you to be the baby's father. I totally believe you too. I mean I pretty much believe anything you say.

I hope your wife doesn't stand by your side--I hope she does her own interview that says "Can you believe what a GIANT JACKASS my husband is?" AND then I'll buy her book, handbag, clothing line, perfume, whatever!

I mean seriously-who DOES that? Next time bust your own nut.

Amy