My Gayz!

Every girl needs a posse of gays for survival. Whether it's for fashion influence, creative inspiration, day to day living, a guaranteed plus one--or love life advice. They are critical to success and I feel very fortunate to have so many amazing Gayz in my life. I'm not claiming to be a scientist or anything but there is absolutely an undeniable bond between women and gay men and if I didn't have these men in my life I shudder to think about what I'd be saying, wearing and possibly doing.

I have chosen to profile some of my Gayz and how they fit into my life. I am listing them alphabetically to minimize bitch fits. Coming soon to a store near you . . .Gayz action figures . . .

Allen is my Everyday Gay


Allen is my Everyday GAY because he has had the distinct privilege of living with me for the past 8 years. I'm pretty sure it's the longest relationship either one of us have ever been in. If you ask him how long we've lived together he'll say about 5 years, but it's been over 8. Allen is the perfect gay to live with as he's relatively low maintenance but he can also dispense fashion advice and kill bugs at the same time. There was a loose cricket in our home one night and I'm pretty sure I'm HIGHLY allergic to all bugs so he managed to "track" the beast while evaluating my outfit before a show. He looked at me and said "Show me something else", and I obliged. By the time I left my outfit was approved and the cricket was no longer with us. R.I.P. He manages to handle all these tasks while his iphone is blowing up with texts/calls, etc. from his many suitors. Usually they are Latino and they are almost all muy caliente. Allen is also the gay who can randomly fix dryers but will occasionally get a pedicure with me. I feel so lucky to live with him, and I know I couldn't survive the world without my Everyday Gay.

Craig is my Tricky Gay


Every now an then a gay enters your life and throws you for a loop. Craig is the tricky gay. He was "introduced" to me via email blast from Troy (see below) in a "HAPPY NEW YEAR I HAVE A NEW BOYFRIEND" message complete with pictures. Based on the email you would tend to think Craig was just a hot piece of arm candy with good arms, but oddly enough he is much much more. He's smart, funny, and has a lot of varied interests from modeling to editing to anthropology to law school. Really? He's also known for his gay trickery. He will often times try to convince me to do something that really is something else. Exhibit A--We had planned to meet for dinner at Pink Taco at Century City, and when I got there he also had a ticket for me to see Mamma Mia (the hideous movie version) after dinner. I hadn't agreed to see the movie, but somehow I gave him $12.50 and took the ticket. I then sat through one of the worst movies of the millennium (this one and the next) and when it was over I felt duped, tricked and maybe a little suspicious of his motives. Just when I think I know what will come next he mixes it up and I find myself doing some really weird things, often in the Valley, and they are usually orchestrated by Craig. He's the perfect teammate for various things such as game nights and Ravenchase adventures, but be wary of the Tricky Gay. He's more than arms.

James is my Crazy Gay


James is quite possibly the craziest person I have ever met. I've lived in LA for over 13 years and am pretty sure I've seen the most outrageous people the world has to offer and James would absolutely take first place. I worked in the same marketing department as James, just not as the same time. The stories about him were legendary and the more I heard the more I wanted to know him. It was practically love at first sight! I remember attending a birthday party for him in Orange County with Sumo wrestling contests in the backyard and his choreographed dance routines complete with Geisha costumes. I remember thinking "It's always worth the drive for James". He and I have commandeered a dance floor in a NYC club and I'm pretty sure we had everyone from the party people to the kitchen staff in awe. In a good way. I mean the club had BEDS . . .he still blames me for breaking his European lady glasses with that dance-off, but it's not true. He has worked for a variety of television shows and occasionally I'll get an email saying --'Hey check me out on Ellen or Bonnie Hunt today I'm dressed up like Jackie O.' I've never left an event that James attended without multiple stories. I usually drink a lot of diet coke to "get ready" to see James. And I usually need a sedative after. The world is MUCH more fun with James.


Jeff is my Back-up Gay


Every time a new good gay enters my world it's a very exciting time. I imagine it's like having a new puppy or child or something equally as adorable but that requires less maintenance. Jeff and I worked together and we became instant friends by exchanging eye rolls over the stained cubicle walls of a challenged cable network. He recently graduated from USC and after working for the Lakers he joined a misfit marketing department, and became one of my favorite lunch buddies and Facebook mentor. We can easily spend an entire lunch hour dissecting a text message and come up with the perfect response. He's redefines spaz with his penchant for leaving wallets, keys, sunglasses, etc. everywhere he visits and he often trips on imaginary garden gnomes. Jeff is my new favorite back-up gay because he can fill in for another gay if there is a need--like when T+C were out of town and I needed a hiking partner, or if we're both hurting in the am and we need to go on quick grease hunt together. He also shares his french fries (or I take them), and because he doesn't always finish them I provide a back-up service of sorts and do it for him. It's a give and take relationship and I respect that. His social calendar is VERY full with all sorts of Gossip Girl events, Survivor roundtables, and Lakers games, but he will make himself available. Just not for a comedy show. BAM!

Rick is my CrisisGay


Rick is my Crisis Gay because he can single handedly manage any crisis (big or small) and do it while preventing a meltdown of epic proportions. I met Rick years ago in Groundlings and he encouraged me to try stand-up. He was producing a comedy show and gave me a slot. In order to prevent my first onstage experience from being a total disaster we met a week before to run through my funnies. He was amazing and because of him I was able to get through my first set without pulling a Cindy Brady and freezing OR bursting into tears. Rick was also the sole reason I was able to get into my dress before the recent nuptials of T+C (www.troyandcraig.com). I was speaking at the wedding of the year and the event was "black tie fabulous". Rick, his husband Steve, and myself all had cocktails and got ready in my hotel room before the GAYla and I had a wardrobe malfunction when I tried to squeeze my head through the armhole of my dress instead of the actual opening for my head. I was trembling and seconds from tears and I asked him "Is it zipping up?" He calmed responded, "Not at the moment, but we're working on it". I managed to shimmy into it and Rick zipped me up BUT it wasn't right and we both knew it. I thought I'd gained 80 lbs. in 2 weeks, and Rick, sensing the tears and catastrophy looming took one look at the dress on me and suggested I had it on incorrectly. He calmly convinced me to try again and showed me how it should be worn. In turn I showed him more of me than he was probably trying to see, but ultimately he was 100% responsible for averting what could have been a bigger crisis than the collapse of the economy. Thank the Gay God for my Crisis Gay. He can also make magic on a trapeze. No joke.


Troy is my Power Gay

Troy is the ultimate Power Gay. He is in no way affiliated with the Gay Mafia that allegedly exists here in LA, but if they are real then they definitely know about him. He has a fancy job at Warner Bros. that has allowed him to meet many people and he adds everyone to his "CONTACTS" within minutes of meeting them. He plans grand events at fabulous venues all over the city, but I have seen him eat a sandwich from 7-11. He's the perfect person to call when you're crying b/c your birthday party reservation got completely messed up and you need a place for 50 people in 48 hours. He can often be seen with a headset and clipboard, but don't underestimate his power if he's only wielding an iphone. Troy is the Power Gay who will show up at your house when you have mono with a hair straightening rod, free month of Barry's Boot Camp card, and Spanx as gifts to make you feel better. Ultimately they do make you feel better but probably just not in that moment. Obviously my life would never be anywhere near as exciting or fancy if it wasn't for my Power Gay. Yeah my life is exciting and fancy. At times. Thanks Troy!

So mad love to all of the Gayz in my life and look out for My Gayz Pt. 2 next week (Brian, Ed, Sean, Ray, and MANY MANY more) . . .