Rendered speechless by a 9 year old named Shawn

It's rare, actually VERY rare for me to be rendered speechless. It's even more than VERY rare for my jaw to drop and be rendered speechless by a 9 year old multiple times in one day. Enter my nephew Shawn.



He turned 9 in the beginning of April and lives in Iowa. While visiting the family this weekend I was able to spend some quality time with him and my niece Shannon who is 13. He had some birthday money* burning a hole in his pocket, so we spent over 4 hours (mainly researching his options) at the mall. Here are a few highlights.

In the car--on the way to the mall--discussing our plans to shop, maybe see a movie, etc.

Shawn: I took a vow to myself to never see the Hannah Montana movie.
Amy: I support that. I saw 17Again and thought it was really cute.
Shawn: You went to the premiere with Troy.
Amy: Yes, Troy invited me. Troy knows Zac Efron from work events.
Shawn: Is Zac gay?
Amy: No.
Shawn: Yeah I saw on tmz his girlfriend is Vanessa Hudgens and they
said she can wipe her tears with her money.
Amy: WHAT?

In Target--waiting on Shannon who was trying on clothes . . .

Shawn to Amy: When am I gonna get another uncle?
Amy: Um. Wait. What? Do you want one?
Shawn: Yeah. I just have the one. Uncle Scott. I want another one.
Amy: Ok. I'm gonna work on it.
Shawn: Cool.

Then at one point we were in fye (music/movie, etc. store) and he
walked into the "mature viewers" section w/o me and lifted up the playboy cover of a dvd . . .

Amy: That's not really for you Shawn.
Shawn: Yeah I know, but whenever I see the playboy thing (logo) I get curious.



Then we went into Spencer's gifts--I remember when it was mainly fart
noisemaker things and what not--now it's pretty much porn and weed props. Anyway--we left quickly and then . . .

Shawn: Spencer's is really a dildo store for nerdy guys who can't get a date. That's what I heard.
Amy: Um maybe. And other stuff.

On the ride home, my niece asked me about Rihanna and Chris Brown. We had a brief discussion about how violence is unacceptable, and Shawn called him a turd. We are all on Team Rihanna. Duh. Then we had a fairly spirited discussion about Miley Cyrus' birth name. I was pretty sure Miley started as a nickname and then she changed it to her legal name. Shawn decided the best to find out the real answer was to look it up on my mac when we got home. Which I did. I was right--Miley was named Destiny Hope when she was born and changed her name to Miley Ray. I am both proud and sad that I "was right". Mainly sad.

I finished the night watching Cory in the House (wishing it was Benson) on Disney Channel and trying to right my brain with some Pinot Noir. . .

*I gave Shawn a cash gift for his bday. If you want to know how much you'll have to solve the word problem I put in his birthday card. Take current age, add the number of states in the US, subtract Shannon's age, add the number of tv's in Bubbie's house (4), subtract Zac Efron's age in his new movie. Answer is________. I also gave him a birthday project. With an additional $15 given to him, he needs to figure out how to "give it back" to people or organizations in need. He is doing the research and will let me know next weekend. Stay tuned.

For the record--Shawn does not have unlimited access to the internet--he doesn't even cable tv at home. He absolutely doesn't miss a thing. My mind is blown by kids of today. I'm pretty sure I was still eating dirt when I was 9.